Now, until then

I want to be old

with you – spending now until

then getting us there.


I went to the movies tonight. Towards the end, one of the protagonists stops to pick his daughter up from his ex. He’s a great dad. As he and his daughter are walking to the car and having a sweet little interaction, I had the little tugs at my heart missing my boys (it’s their week with their mother). Then a thought popped into my head, “as long as I have my boys, I’m okay”. Then I just said to myself, “you’re going to get through this and you’ll be alright”. I’ve been telling myself this since this started. This is the first time I almost believed it.

Of course, once I had processed that, I started thinking about Michelle and all the boys and I have lost with her leaving. But it was there for a moment, if only a brief one.

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