for her, it’s the path
most travelled. fuck R. Frost! what
the hell does he know?
When Michelle left, she took only what she wanted and left the rest for me to clean up. She left things all over the house. Is the way she moved out a metaphor for her approach to our relationship?
Sometimes it feels like instead of taking our life as a whole, she is treating it like a buffet. Working at a relationship is hard…I don’t want that. Working on my panic attacks is hard…I don’t want that. Working on my anger issues is hard…I don’t want that. Being a (step) mother is hard…I don’t want that. I’ll touch base with the boys every other week for an hour or so, that’ easy…I want that. I definitely want health care and Joseph’s is the best I’ve ever seen…I want that.
I am responsible for the mess (literal and figurative) she left behind. She can continue on with her lovely, easy, selfish, “relationships-are-hard-and-require-work” life while I clean up.
So I’m feeling like I should write something positive this afternoon.
We always talk about the “greatest love(s) of our lives” in poems, movies, books etc. It’s always implied the great love of our life is romantic. Michelle is the great, romantic, love of my life. The greatest love of my life is Dennis and Brad. No one will ever mean more to me. Like I said before, “as long as I have my boys, I’m okay”.