My parents have both put the hard close on me reconciling with Patrick. My mother went so far as to tell me “I have to come home for Christmas”. I explained I don’t and I will not be in Arizona for Christmas. I told both of them I had more important things I needed to work on. I was alluding to therapy and my sobriety. They both insisted there was nothing wrong with me. What a bunch of bullshit that was. I reminded them my drinking was something that is/was wrong with me. I told them I’m not interested in spending any time with Patrick or Rae…especially Rae. I don’t like being around their negativity. They say awful things about everyone they know and it is stressful to be around. My mother told me if I don’t come home for Christmas, I have to come to Arizona by myself then. I told her I wouldn’t. I know this is hard on both of them and I told them as much. I feel bad about that. I don’t feel bad enough to be unhappy and forced to be around people (who’s company) I don’t enjoy. That is the bottom line. Michelle has given me a really hard time about it to. I’m not saying I’ll never talk to Patrick and Rae. I’m just saying right now, I have no interest in it. Maybe that will change, but maybe it won’t. I’m indifferent to the outcome. The longer I go without contact, the better it feels.