We are happier

the three of us are

closer than we were before.

we are happier


It is so good to have the boys back with me again. I always miss them when they are with their mother but it is brought into sharper focus when I have them…how much more fulfilled my life feels. I enjoy the time I get to spend with them. Our relationship has gotten better (and we have always been really close) since I have quit drinking. We laugh and have fun more. I still have that stern, “I’m your father and I have expectations!” thing because you know…I am and I do. It just seems easier, more relaxed…I don’t know what word fits best…not organic… somewhere between relaxed and natural. Whatever word best embodies that emotion.

I have to admit to a sense of pride in myself. I can look back on how I was doing, day to day before Michelle left me to where I am now and see a happier person. Don’t get me wrong, I am still sad about Michelle and I. The happiness is just a general, underlying state of being. The background noise is happy. It’s my first position (if I can use a dancing term).

Drinking has recently been difficult. The cravings have been more frequent. I went to dinner with some friends at a place that makes great cocktails and someone ordered their “Perfect Old Fashion”. I could feel the desire to have one in my chest. It was uncomfortable.


One thought on “We are happier

  1. I lived with a whole family of alcoholics while growing up and into my adult years. Thankfully, it’s a disease that I have managed to evade through a lot of hard work and not drinking alcohol. Genetics play a grand role in this disease I have learned. Where the line is between genetics and environmental damage though is hazy for most “experts”. I lost every member of my family who drank and to see you post the words that you wanted it badly but, refused to partake, says a lot. Congratulations! Every day brings new challenges but, you can get through them. Remember the victories…such as being able to see your children! 🙂 Best of wishes!!!! Honestly. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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