I have felt a bit sad today. It’s a weird feeling. It’s vague hopelessness. Like a little voice saying to me, “nothing is good and it never will be”. I don’t have an effective outlet for this. They are ways to distract myself from the voice. They usually work and I end up forgetting it is there. But it’s still there…I just can’t hear it. It’s on repeat: one day they are going to grow up and leave, then what are you going to do? Keep going to work…for what? So you can accumulate more money? Then what are you going to do? You come home every night to an empty house. Do you think that is going to change? You have no one to hold at night. No one to tell you it is going to be okay. She left. You are alone.