Poor assumptions

8:00am

I feel terrible about the assumption I made with Dad. I assumed he was going to lecture and try to bully me. We spoke on the phone last night for over 30 minutes. It started out with “This has gone on long enough. It needs to be fixed. The kids and your mother and I are upset about it. Etc. Etc” I explained to him how I felt. How stressful it is to be around Patrick and Rae. How they talk shit about every single person they know (without exception). How they go out of their way to make others feel like shit. How they just aren’t good people. I asked him…what are we going to do, sit down with them and make them stop being terrible human beings? He said, maybe. I told him I have my own shit I’m trying to come to terms with. I have my children I need to be concerned about after this brutal break up with Michelle. I told him I was in a good place about everything and the only reason (and I do mean the only reason) I am even entertaining an idea of reconciling with Patrick and Rae is because of how horrible my parents feel about things. I told him I can’t help that they feel terrible. I don’t feel good they, my kids, and Patrick’s kid’s feel stuck and trapped in this. But I can’t help that not having Patrick and Rae in my life (at least for right now) is an absolute good thing.

So the feeling terrible (about the assumption I made) part comes in now…he listened to me…and he didn’t try to tell me I was wrong. He didn’t try to tell me I was right…he just listened. I felt good putting it all out there with him. It felt freeing…like an unburdening. It felt like it did when I was in therapy and had a few break throughs.

One thought on “Poor assumptions

  1. Why feel terrible about it? I know one of the reasons I’m afraid to say what I truly think/feel is all the negative reactions I have received in the past. In the past I’ve been ignored, told to “get over it” or “calm down.” So it’s hard for me to get past the assumption that I’m not going to be listened to and respected.

    But I also work hard not to beat myself up about it. It sounds like you set a really good boundary with your dad. That took a lot of bravery. Celebrate that!

    Like

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