Back-sliding

9:30am

I got drunk yesterday. I had the friends over for brunch and we had memosa’s. Then it was screw drivers…it just spiraled out of control for me. I guess the only upside is I didn’t have that much to drink because it doesn’t take as much to get me drunk.

I feel awful today: sick to my stomach, headache, foggy in the brain…all that and a healthy dose of self-loathing to boot. I was thinking about what I said about when I had that first glass of wine at Thanksgiving and being worried it would be like smoking where I would incrementally fall back into my old habits. I think it might be happening.

I am going to talk to myself here…You can’t start drinking again. You will die if you do. You are going to poison yourself and poison Brad and Dennis’s minds and lives if you start drinking again. You can’t get drunk again. You have to be better than this. You should go to another AA meeting tomorrow night. You need inspiration/motivation.

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