Driving back from lunch I was thinking about the different ways to think about health. I boiled it down to: physical, mental, and economic. I took a personal inventory of each of those for myself, Dennis, and Brad from before Michelle and I split up to now.
It kind of feels like my life going forward is always going to be seen as B.K. and A.K. (before Michelle and after Michelle).
On all fronts we are doing well. For our physical health all you have to do is look at me and you can see a dramatic difference. I’ve lost 41lbs since then, I don’t drink anymore (I’ve only lapsed, getting drunk once since we broke up). Dennis and Brad are both super active.
Both boys are achieving in school and with their friends. Our mental health is much better. I sleep well and am generally happy these days, especially when I have the boys with me. They both seem to be the same. My/our economic health is better than it has ever been. I have more money saved than I have ever had in my life. I made less money last year than I did when Michelle and I were a couple and yet I have more money. It seems we are better without Michelle in our lives. Trying to make her happy was difficult and stressful.
To be clear here, Michelle isn’t to blame for my alcohol abuse and controlling behavior. She was a stressor…my reaction to stress was drink and control. The unhealthy way I had coped with stress/anxiety was my fault. I reacted to every stressor the same way. It didn’t matter if it was a person, my job, financial troubles, etc, etc. If I felt anxiety I alleviated that with booze and “taking charge”.